It's been a couple of years since I last posted on this blog. I guess I've been too busy with the neverending challenges of being a stepmother.
Yes, my stepkids still like me and our relationship has grown and matured, but not without a lot of tears, screaming and patience. There's that word again. Patience. Brad and I have been married for over three years now. And quite happily might I add. I've talked to him numerous times about my challenges with his kids, and he's shared his challenges with me. I've learned how important it is to talk to him. Even if I have to tell him something that I know may upset him or hurt him, but that was never the intention. Honesty is the intention. He understands me, and I him.
His daughter is now 18 and we hardly see her anymore. But she just got her first car, so she may come up to see us now. We live over a 100 miles from his kids, so it's not a quick drive for anyone. Even though I had a breakthrough with his daughter a few years ago, it didn't go without more challenges. She would have fits of rage and loudly express how she hated me or why couldn't her father and mother work it out. She blamed me for ending that possibility, but that possibility never existed. Brad assured me that he would never return to his ex-wife. As time went by, his daughter came to realize that her parents' divorce was the best thing. She started to view her mother through different eyes and longed for the day when she could move out. Patience. All Brad and I needed to do was to practice patience.
Communication. This is key and has been for us. No matter what you're feeling, talk it out. Make your husband understand what you're feeling, and then he can help you and support you. Tell him when the kids hurt your feelings or are disrespectful. Tell him when you feel overwhelmed. Tell him. Just tell him what you're feeling and ask him to tell you what he's feeling, and somewhere down the line you'll meet in the middle and work it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment